


Diamond Stardust

by Violainexxx



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:53:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26415955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Violainexxx/pseuds/Violainexxx
Relationships: Izumi Iori/Nanase Riku
Comments: 4
Kudos: 36





	Diamond Stardust

Special thanks to Nuomi, the translator of my work.

PLEASE ENJOY WHILE LISTENING TO “Last Snow” BY MATSUSHITA YUYA

*

“Where is everyone?”

A text from the group Rabbitchat page jumped out, with the red double sharp as its icon. 

This text only hovered on the screen for a few seconds between the other rapidly appearing text bubbles, and it was soon unseeable.

The person that had the icon of Musashi, the sweeping robot, for as long as one can remember: Mitsu, Oniisan wants 3 more beers.

The Kokona icon: Hot sake, please:)

Osama pudding icon: More beef---

Newly-planted hot bell peppers icon: It’s probably the best if you guys don’t drink too much…… Doesn’t Yamato-san still have work tomorrow?

The person with the “Spirit” brush-wrote word icon: Get your own beer and wine!!!

The Kokona icon: Oh! 

Takanashi Tsumugi with Kinako icon: I’ll go get it, but for people who have announcements tomorrow, please pay attention to self-controlling! 

Banri, who had the icon of his own selfie: Ah, I’ll help you.

Tokyo, a city that rarely snows, was snowing hard. 

The walk from the tram station to the Sukiyaki restaurant was about 3 minutes. Standing by the portière, Riku closed up his umbrella. The pale snow sticking to the transparent plastic material slid off quietly and fluttered lightly into the ankle-high snow pile just outside the door. The warm orange-coloured light, carrying the smell of beef, fell at his feet through the sliding door. The coldness seemed to be blocked out at the circle of light formed out of the orange-coloured light. He pulled the face mask off his face, breathed out a cloud of white, and reached for his phone, which had been kept inside the inner pocket. Riku checked the group chat, the heat from his body still remaining on his phone. He searched through the forest of text bubbles sent by people who were clearly drunk, finally, found a reply from 2 minutes ago, answering his question. 

The icon of a dark blue bellflower replied simply: Walk straight along the hallways after you come in, look on the right-hand side at the end of the hall, it is a private room.

Riku replied with a “pudding spinning” meme, tucked his phone away, and dropped his umbrella into the umbrella bucket by the door. 

The rooms in this Sukiyaki restaurant were well soundproofed. The moment Riku pulled open the private room’s door, overwhelming cries and yells came straight at his face. He snatched onto the door frame for support. 

“Rikkun!! Rikkun is here---” Tamaki waved at him furiously through the steam emerging from the Sukiyaki, “Rikkun! Come!”

The people who were just asking for more alcoholic drinks in the group chatwere obviously the noise-makers, they were hugging each other around the shoulders and playing the Magical Kokona Movie out loud on Nagi’s phone. When it comes to a touching scene, the two guys cried heartlessly under the effects of the alcohol. 

Thus, Riku received two tearful welcomes. Nagi’s weep was reasonable, but Yamato-san…… What’s the point of crying when Kokona and her crush finally fell in love with each other? 

Then, behind him, the voice of the boy that was just telling his love to Kokona on Nagi's phone drifted into his ears: “ Hey Riku! You’re here! Perfect, we just added a bunch of other stuff, go in there and sit---”

It was Mitsuki, the voice actor of Kokona’s boyfriend. 

Riku laughed as he made way for Mitsuki, who was carrying a dish of beef that the waiter didn’t have extra hands for. Following Mitsuki, was their manager Tsumugi, Banri and the waiter, squeezing into the room one by one: “Are you guys really going to eat this much?”

“That’s OK, because Rikkun is here too.” Tamaki straightened his upper body and reached over to take the food dishes, “Maybe we’ll even need more later on.”

“Riku, you just got out of work, right?” Sougo smiled at Riku from across the table, “You’ve been working until this time, why not eat something to refill your energy?” 

Riku smiled back as he took off his heavy coat: “The director invited everyone for sugar puffs this afternoon, so I don't feel too bad…but, this smells really good! I take back the words I just said, I’m hungry now.”

Mitsuki seemed to be very busy. After he put down the dishes, he trotted over to Riku, offering to hang his coat and backpack for him: “Riku, are you going to be drinking? If not, sit on the inside by the wall, these two people can cause too much trouble----Ojiisan! Nagi! Move! ”

Nagi and Yamato--still hugging each other while howling with tears on the Tatami mat-- moved, so Riku can get in. Yamato, clutching a beer, throbbed: “Sorry Riku, Oniisan is a little overdrunk…”

Looking at Yamato-san, crying hard but still knows that he is a little overdrunk, Riku couldn’t help but giggle a little. Shaking his head, Riku took off his shoes, carefully stepped over the two, who were now lying on the Tatami, and finally reached the end of the table by the wall. In front of him, the Sukiyaki was bubbling, and steam was rising from the pot. Konjac julienned into thin strips and mushrooms with the top cut into a cross, were floating in the dark brown sauce, bobbing up and down.

Tamaki stirred in the pot with the public chopsticks, then turned to Sougo: “Sou-chan, there’s not enough sauce in here anymore.”

“I’ll go and tell the waiter.” Sougo stood up, “Riku, just wait a little bit longer, when the waiter comes and adds more sauce to it, I’ll throw in some beef for you.”

The red-haired young adult that had been ranked as “*The number 3 man you want to be hugged by (* In Japanese, "hug" also means have sex) ” smiled brightly and said: “Thank you Sougo-san!”

Slightly paralyzed by the bright smile and the third youngest member‘s grown-man hormones, Sougo went out happily. 

Riku lowered his gaze to his not-yet-to-be-warmed fingers, tucked them in his sweater a little. As he was starting to reach out for the teapot, a cup of hot ginger tea appeared in his sight. Riku stared down at the brown liquid that is still swaying a little inside the cup for a few seconds, then, he looked up at the person sitting right across from him. 

“The number 1 man you want to be hugged by” with dark hair took a blurry glance at Riku through the slowly rising steam from the pot. The eyelashes and steam have turned into a barrier of frosted glass, keeping those eyes, those eyes that seemed like transparent sapphire-coloured glass marbles that have been washed by the purest water, away from Riku. 

“Thanks, Iori.” As he curled his cold fingers around the warm cup, Riku smiled and thanked Iori in a small voice. 

“After all, I can’t expect you to remember to bring a thermos cup.” Sighing a little, Izumi Iori closed the lid of the bottle tightly, and pushed it towards Riku, “Drink this if you feel cold. It would be a big problem if you catch a cold. ”

Riku blinked.

He did have a bottle of ginger tea in his backpack.

However, Riku did not refuse or make any sounds. He took the cup Iori gave him, held it tightly in both of his hands, and started taking small sips on the edge of the cup. The amount of sugar in the ginger tea was just right, the sweetness had covered up most of the spiciness, and it tasted just the way Riku liked it. 

Although Nanase Riku had learned long ago to keep a bottle of self-made hot ginger tea in his bag, and the amount of sugar he put in it was always not the right amount, Riku had gotten used to drinking the either-too-spicy-or-too-sweet ginger tea. 

Only the person in front of him, had always treated him like he was some little kid that needed to be meticulously taken care of. 

As if a thin layer of ice had gotten between them. If anyone had reached out for this layer of thin, transparent ice, he would have broken it easily. But despite such a thin ice barrier, no one bothered to do that. Sougo and the waiter were back, and as the hot Sukiyaki sauce poured into the pot in the centre of the table, a large amount of water vapour rose into the air, forming a cloud of white mist. Iori’s face was hidden behind the mist. 

And Riku again, can’t see Iori anymore.

Mitsuki finished adding more food into the pot. He stepped onto the Tatami, avoided stepping on the drunken two, and took his seat beside Riku. He took the beef dish from Tamaki, and placed the pieces of meat into the pot one by one. Other people’s laughter and mumbles seemed to be blocked outside of a thin membrane that can not be seen. Mitsuki spoke lightly: “Finally, it’s almost been ten years.”

Riku answered quietly: “Yeah.”

Iori, hidden behind the white mist, didn’t say anything. 

Although he can’t see him, the person is right there, behind the curtain of white mist, and Riku knew this. However, surrounded by the warmth of the room, he can’t help but wonder: Is he really still there? 

Is he really still there? 

“Guys, look at the camera! We’re gonna take a group photo---” Clearly, Banri had been drinking a lot. With his ruby-red ears, he sat down in front of the table, and held out the selfie stick.   
The table was a mess. The dishes that once held the meat and vegetables, were now piled into a huge stack. A few Enoki mushrooms appeared for a moment and then disappeared again, leaving the soup boiling lonesomely. 

Nagi and Yamato drank so much that they can’t even open their eyes; Tamaki was busy snatching the cup from a drunken Sougo’s hand; even Mitsuki, who was busy taking care of the members, was looking slightly dazzled now, and didn’t notice it when his brother secretly exchanged the wine bottle with a juice bottle. Riku carefully shuttled between the messiness, helping the unconscious Yamato up and leaned him against the table, holding his hand up into a peace sign. As he turned to Nagi, Yamato fell back onto the table with a heavy thud. 

The “thud” sounded pretty painful. Sighing deeply, Iori reached for their drunken leader again. 

Turned out that the three youngest members started taking care of the older members. The three, as if they had guessed this would happen, didn’t touch any alcohol drinks at all, although they have all reached the age where drinking would no longer be illegal… long ago.

Who wouldn’t say so? After all, even Tamaki has learned to take care of other people. 

“Cheese!” Said Banri loudly. 

With a light click, a colourful image appeared on Banri’s phone screen. Half of Banri’s face was outside the camera, but his eyes were curled into two pretty arcs; behind him, smiling brightly, was Tsumugi twisting her fingers into “i” and “7”; and as for the others...although the place was a total mess, everyone was looking into the camera with warm smiles. 

This was the ninth winter since Idolish7’s debut. 

The ninth year, they still gathered together at the end of the year, and took their group photo just like always.

Just like what they promised each other a long, long time ago.

The snow seemed to be piling higher outside, and it is still snowing hard. Bathing in the warm orange streetlight, large patches of snowflakes were spinning lightly, falling onto the ground. 

“Riku-san!”

Riku, taking his umbrella out from the bucket, turned to the voice.   
Takanashi Tsumugi hurried outside with her coat on her shoulders, the car keys jingling between her fingers. “Please wait! I will drive you guys home!”

“Um...it’s OK, manager” Riku looked at his phone screen, “I can still catch the last tram...”

“I will take you guys home. ” Tsumugi interrupted firmly, shook the car keys, “please wait here for a moment.”

Surprised by her firm attitude, Riku blinked a few times, half of his face hidden under his scarf. He breathed out a patch of dense mist, and answered: “...Yes please.”

After a few minutes, she came out with Iori. 

“Mitsuki-san and Yamato-san live close to here, ” It seemed like she was double-checking something with Banri on her phone, “Banri-san will drive Nagi-san, Sougo-san and Tamaki-san home, as they will go in the same direction. Iori-san and Riku-san will come with me.”

The first time this night, Riku was able to see Iori clearly. He was wearing a black turtleneck sweater and a dark grey cashmere coat. His clothes, along with thin-framed glasses and black mask for hiding his identity, made his body look more slender. His shoulders were wide, the waist was narrow, his legs were long and straight. Even Riku, who was also male, couldn’t help but admire the elegant temperament of Iori. Iori’s eyelashes were extraordinarily long even within the whole entertainment industry, and right now, a handful of warm yellow light was lying there, like a puddle of amber wine. At this moment, one small, perfect six-sided snowflake, landed lightly on the very tip of his eyelashes. 

Riku looked away. 

“Thank you for the offer, manager,” Iori said.

It had been 5 years since IDOLiSH7 achieved their dream of becoming Japan’s top idol group. They have surpassed Zero and became a legend, a legend that was farther and higher than the rainbow, a legend that was the brightest and most beautiful star in the night sky. The whole entertainment industry was trembling for the seven-coloured shooting star. Different kinds of jobs and events came one after another, they had became the pride of their fans. 

But...what should they do afterwards?

It seemed that most idol groups can’t escape this kind of fate. The personalities and characteristics of each member were different, therefore, the kind of jobs they get and the time periods of the jobs will start to differ. Starting with mainly group activities, to as many personal activities as group activities… In the end, the number of personal activities will gradually increase, and this will become their main job. Due to the differences between their schedules and their personal lives, the members started to move out of their dormitory. Takanashi Otoharu, the owner of Takanashi Production, wanted to end the lease of the dormitory, but the members stopped him. They made a promise together: they will pay for the dormitory together, and the place that is no longer called “their dormitory”, will be the “home” where they can go back to anytime. Although normally no one lives in it, they still hired a custodian to help clean the place. Sometimes, when someone is working nearby, he will come back for the night. 

The bond between the seven members was still very strong, and no matter how busy one was, they still often get together. They will hold lives every year, or even adjust their off day to the same day, and go out as a group.

Nothing seemed to change from nine years ago. 

Tsumugi turned on the radio. The song floating out of the radio was the song that got the highest sales, the one that was released after they got the comprehensive winner five years ago in the Black or White contest. The light from the streetlights spun past the car window, there weren’t many people on the street after night had arrived, and the golden lights twinkled lonely from the trees on the side of the street. 

Riku looked out of the car window. When they were waiting for the traffic light to turn green, he saw a movie poster on a large window before the bus stop. The composition of the poster was simple: The leading man was lying in the snow with his eyes closed. The poster was simple, however, it can catch people’s eyes easily. There were tiny snowflakes on the man’s black hair and eyelashes, a flash of pretty sapphire leaked out from under his fine eyelashes, along with a shallow trace of water. He seemed to be crying: without looking closely, it’s hard to see that the corners of his eyes were a bit red, and faint tear marks trickled into his hair and into the snow. The corner of his mouth curled into a weak smile, extremely stunning... but heart-breaking.

It was Iori.

Of course it was Iori, it could only be Iori. 

The music was still flowing inside the car, no one was talking. In such “silence”, Riku turned to Iori, who was sitting by the other window. Iori had taken off his glasses and mask as they were in the car now, and his gorgeous facial features were revealed to Riku. He was leaning towards the window, his eyelashes were butterflies’ dropping wings--Iori was asleep.

However, if you look closely, you would see that there were dark shadows under his lower eyelids. Riku remembered that Mitsuki said he has quite a few jobs to finish these days. Who knows how long it had been since the last time he rested properly.

Hidden in his sleeves, Riku’s fingertips twitched a little, as if they wanted to touch Iori’s lower eyelids. Then surprised by his own thoughts, Riku’s eyelashes fluttered a few times rapidly. He bit down on his lips and grabbed the corner of his sleeves tightly, causing some deep traces in the thick fabric. 

...He was probably really tired. The habit of touching this person from years ago almost came to life again. 

“Iori-san?” came Tsumugi’s voice from the front seat. She pulled the handbrake up, and turned around quietly, “...is he asleep?”

Riku looked away from Iori: “Are we at Iori’s already?”

Tsumugi nodded.

Riku reached out and tapped Iori gently on the shoulders: “Iori…Iori? Wake up.”

Iori was a light sleeper, and he was awake the moment Riku touched his shoulders. His eyes were dazed with sleep. 

“We’re here, let’s sleep after we go home.” Riku said, “it’s easy to get a cold if you sleep like this.”

Because he just woke up, Iori’s reaction was a bit slow. He blinked twice, only after a few seconds he spoke quietly: “...Did I fall asleep? Sorry about that.”

Tsumugi smiled: “That’s OK, good work these days, Iori-san.”

“Take a good bath before you go to bed!” Riku smiled too, “sleep well when you get home, you worked really hard!”

Iori put on his glasses and face mask, and threw his bag onto his shoulders. Under his lenses, his eyes curved into a curve extremely lightly: “Nanase-san and manager, good work to you guys too.”  
Coldness and thin snowflakes fluttered into the car through the open door. Iori took hold of the door and bent over, blocking most of the wind behind him, and looked into Riku’s eyes: “Well then, see you next time.”

“See you next time then!” Riku answered naturally, smiling and waving, “Good night.”

It was neither “see you tomorrow” nor “see you the day after tomorrow”. It was a blurry, joke-like “see you next time”. When will the next time be? They both had no idea, but nobody mentioned it. 

It has been nine years. They finally became those nasty grown-ups who decorate themselves with politeness to hide their true selves from other people. 

But, is this an act of matureness, or childishness? 

Watching Iori disappearing behind the mansion elevator door, Tsumugi fastened her seatbelt again and released the handbrake. 

The music started to flow in the car again, and Riku leaned his forehead against the cold window. The area his forehead was touching started to fog up from his body temperature. He stared at the patches of snow that were sliding off the car window, and suddenly felt very, very tired. 

“Riku-san.” Tsumugi’s voice was quiet, so quiet that he almost couldn’t hear what she was saying, but Riku still caught it, “are you all right?”

Riku paused for a moment, then looked up into the girl’s eyes in the rearview mirror. Warm-coloured light from the streetlights flashed in her eyes and it looked like glittering teardrops.

In this short moment, Riku heard the fake mask he had put on for this night crashing onto the floor. Tsumugi was right. Even she can see that he was trying to convince himself, and the others surely can somehow see this as well? No one said anything to him to drag him out of this hazy dream, because they were way too gentle to him. 

Once the clock strikes twelve, the godmother’s magic will disappear. The carriage will turn back into the pumpkin, the coachman will turn back into a mouse, and the beautiful princess will turn back into Cinderella again. 

She had to wake him up. 

“Yeah...” Riku closed his eyes, feeling his eyeballs throbbing beneath his eyelids, “I’m okay.”  
He can do it, he will do it. He will leave everything about the past behind him, just like Iori, and face each other calmly. 

A little more time was what he needed. 

Less than five minutes after he got home, Riku got a message notification. He was about to drop his bag and take off his coat, and head straight towards the shower, but he turned away from the shower after he heard and came back for the sound. The screen of his phone, lying on the side table, lit up, and a message jumped out from the top. 

Iori: Are you home yet?

Riku slapped his forehead lightly. Yep, he forgot to tell them that he was home. 

He unlocked his phone, typing quickly: Yeah I just got home, don’t worry Iori！

He then exited the private chat, and clicked into a group chat: I’m home！

The number “1” jumped out from the left-up corner, reminding him that there was an unread message. His eyelashes trembled slightly, and without reading what other members replied to him, he re-clicked on the private chat with the person that had the bellflower icon. 

Iori: Remember to have a hot bath to dispel the coldness, and sleep early. 

Dispel the coldness. 

The fingers that were trying to reply hesitated. Riku remembered the cup of ginger tea Iori handed him. 

\---“Why did you have a bottle of ginger tea with you tonight? You don’t drink ginger tea.”

\---“Why do you still remember the amount of sugar I like? It tasted exactly like it was before.”

Riku had millions of broken sentences circling around his head. Pain and helplessness gushed out at once, causing his fingers to tremble, but he still didn’t manage to touch his fingertips to the screen. 

Only the text box was flashing, like an eye gazing upon people in pain. 

Iori didn’t like ginger tea, and it had always been so. He had a healthy body, so even though he doesn’t drink anything that can dispel the coldness in his body, he won’t get sick as long as his clothes are warm enough. But Riku was different. Riku was constantly exercising, but with asthma, it is easy for him to start coughing once the temperature goes down. In the past, when winter arrived, there was a bottle of ginger tea in Iori’s bag for sure. He even found out Riku’s preferred flavour, and every time the sweetness was just right. 

But that was in the past.

2 years… no, 3 years ago. 

Izumi Iori was still with Nanase Riku at that time, they didn’t leave each other. 

“The past”. The letters seemed so light, but also so heavy-- as heavy as a block of heavy steel, pressing against Riku’s heart-- whenever he thinks about it, the pain in his heart was causing him difficulties to breathe. 

The clock on the wall clicked once, twice; the heater breathed out warm air. Riku sat on the carpet with his back leaning against the sofa, clean clothes in his arms. He seemed to have forgotten that he was going to have a bath, and he was just sitting there, hugging his clothes, making no sound at all.

The screen of his phone darkened. 

Iori didn’t turn on the light. The shadows of the furniture were floating on the floor, swaying slightly as the snow light from outside changed, like weeds drifting here and there on the surface of a lake. 

The bay window was structured into an area great for taking a nap. It was filled with soft latex mattresses and blankets, soft cushions piled up against the glass. If someone decides to sit there, he will sink into the mountain of cushions. The owner of the unit was sitting with his forehead touching the glass while holding a light blanket and leaning into the cushions. The night was dark, but feeble light still made its way through the window, pouring onto the back of his hand--which was resting on his knees-- sliding across the long fingers, and falling into the can of beer he was holding. 

Iori looked outside. 

There was nobody on the street, the only objects guarding the lonely street were the streetlights, blinking miserably in the darkness. The snow was falling harder, battering the glass with a “pitter-patter” sound. A perfect snowflake, blown by the wind, landed in the corner of the window, glittering, like a tiny piece of stardust falling from the sky. 

The long-silent phone lightened up suddenly with a buzz. 

The double sharp icon replied: Don’t worry, I’m already 27, not a child anymore. Iori too, you should probably go and rest early. 

Polite and thoughtful, courteous but without estrangement. The boy that was always stumbling with little mistakes, learned to treat people euphemistically too. 

Although to him, this was the response that seemed to be the farthest distance away from him. 

Iori lowered his gaze, a ray of blue leaked out from under the long eyelashes, a glimpse of wetness flowed across his eyes. He held the can of beer against his lips, drank the leftover drops in one gulp. He then closed his eyes and leaned his forehead back into the glass again, as if he was exhausted, or asleep. 

*  
“......I think I might like Iori.”

It was five years ago, the day when they became the winner of BoW. Nanase Riku said quietly but firmly, sitting on his bed with his back facing the dark-blue night sky. He looked up at Iori, who was bringing his honey milk to him. 

“I told myself that if we win at this year’s BoW, I’ll tell Iori this.”

“......I like you.”

The night was dark, but the stars were close. They were shining crystals floating in the sky close to them, bright and fine, as if they were going to drop onto the earth very soon. 

Behind the red-haired teen, was a night sky full of fantasy, full of glittering stardust. 

Amongst this sky of stardust, Riku stared at Iori red-cheeked, pouring the scorching but sweet emotions out, and delivering it to him with both of his hands eagerly. 

As if he already knew the person standing in front of him felt the same too.   
It was only a fifty-fifty gamble, but he, Riku, guessed it. 

Riku always had good luck. 

It is heard that a couple would be in a love bubble for a period of time, and the period after that would always cause mental pain. If the couple can’t fight through this, separation is what usually waits for them.

However, Iori and Riku didn’t seem to have a problem. They started out immaturely but eagerly, then slowly went into a peaceful but blissful stage. No matter how busy they were, they will try their best to at least meet each other every day. Perhaps it’s the short moment on backstage before a performance; perhaps it’s before bed, reading together while holding hands; or maybe it’s meeting each other outside of their manager’s office after work, and taking the tram home together... Small quarrels and arguments occurred too, these were normal, but even quarrels became a way to maintain their relationship later on. 

They’ve been together for so long. They were two puzzle pieces that were made to snap together, and even the outlines of their souls matched perfectly.

“When we retire from being idols, how about let’s go live up north?”

“It has only been a few years since we debut, and you are already thinking about retiring? ……may I ask, why north?”

“I like the snow.”

“Cold weather is not good for your health.”

“...You’re so boring when talking about things like this! Because Iori gives people the impression of snow, I want to live somewhere that will snow in the winter with you.”

“Let’s set aside that metaphor you made first…… Doesn’t Tokyo snow sometimes too?”

“Somewhere that WILL snow in the winter. Don’t worry about my health, you can make me ginger tea every day to keep me warm!”

“...What am I going to do with you? But first, start with developing the habit of putting on scarves properly please.”  
“Hehe, yes' sir!”

“Iori, look at this picture. This bay window looks so cozy! We have to get a house with a bay window in the living room. When winter comes, we can pile it up with cushions and blankets, and turn on the heater, and drink iced beer while snuggling under the blankets!”

“...A typical decadent middle-aged worker’s talk.”

“De, decadent middle-aged worker…...?”

“Nanase-san is only 24 years old and it seems like he is already showing the symptoms of premature senility now.”

“Ha…...?! What sort of tone is that! Are you looking for a fight?! ”

“But solves problems immaturely.”

“......”

At the time both of them believed that the other person is the one to be with for his entire life. As if it was a wedding oath, that nothing could separate them, except for death.

The blissful two years briefly passed by. These two years were a transparent but fragile bubble. When refracting the sunlight, it was a dreamy fantasy; but if being touched by even the slightest touch, it will turn into unfixable fragments that sprinkle over the ground immediately. It was such a beautiful reverie when it was still perfect, so elegant but deceiving that even Izumi Iori, who was always cool-headed, was tricked, and forgot the most important fact--they were idols. 

How much flowers and applause they received, was also how much malice and defamation they received. 

The news came from a less popular entertainment magazine. 

It was an off day, so Riku slept in, and was awakened by the fierce knocks on his door. He opened the door, standing outside was a very pale Tsumugi, and a sombre-looking Iori. 

The cover of the magazine was Iori and Riku in their personal clothes, having a meal in a western restaurant. It wasn’t hard to see from the angle the picture was taken that it was a sneak shot, but the picture was in high quality, so it wasn’t hard either to recognize who they were. The font of the title was huge, and it was printed in bright red on the right side of the cover: Secret love among IDOLiSH7 members?!

A report that took up a huge proportion of the magazine, pictures of the two in an aquarium, and walking side by side after work…...the last photo was Riku and Iori in disguise buying croquettes. The red-haired man pulled his mask down, smiling as he reached up to wipe off the cream that was sticking to the black-haired man’s lips. 

The last photo was definitely Nanase Riku, there was no doubt about that.

“Riku-san, Iori-san, I’m really really sorry about this!” 

Who knew that the first thing Tsumugi did after shutting the door was to apologize to them.  
Riku tried to clear the chaos going on in his head, “ma, manager, you didn’t do anything wrong…”

“Let aside the authenticity of this report,” Tsumugi stood up straight, her face cold with anger and seriousness, “I am the manager of IDOLiSH7, protecting the members is my duty. It’s my dereliction that you two were tailed and being taken pictures of, affecting your private lives. I will deal with this report. Riku-san, Iori-san, let’s work together to get out of this hardship.”

“Thank you, manager.” Iori said peacefully, clenched fists resting on his knees, “and please.”

Tsumugi inhaled deeply: “Yes, I will try my best……now, can you tell me if this report is true?”

The magazine was not well-known, but it was when IDOLiSH7 was the hottest group. As soon as the news was released, the copies in convenient stores and bookstores were sold out immediately, and it was impossible to take all of them back. The topic popularized itself rapidly on SNS apps, and it soon became the top in the trends section on Twitter. The comment section under Iori’s and Riku’s latest posts were filled with fans and other people asking questions. 

Facing all kinds of over-exaggerated information online, Takanashi Otoharu was unprecedently serious. He was lost in thoughts for quite a long time after hearing Tsumugi’s report, then he quickly organized the other staff to come up with a counterplan, and posted declarations on SNS, as well as preparing for a press conference. 

“The most important of all right now is to protect our talents.” He stated, “deny any talks that are no good for them, and tell other people it was only the friendly relationship between group members.”

“But why is denying the truth the right way to protect Iorin and Rikkun?”

The atmosphere in the dormitory those days was quite depressing compared to other times. Tamaki, with a pudding spoon in his mouth, puzzled and unsatisfied, asked: “If it’s true, isn’t it better if we just tell everybody? Then Iorin and Rikkun can be more relaxed too. As soon as they go out of the door, a whole bunch of reporters will go up to them. It’s too hard for them.”

Sougo glanced nervously at the kitchen, where Iori was preparing dinner, signalled Tamaki to lower his voice, and looked away: “There are things that are not as simple as they seemed, Tamaki-kun. If all difficulties in the world can be solved by talking clearly about the issue, everyone would be happier than they are now.”

He looked miserable when he was telling this to Tamaki. 

Back then, Riku listened to Iori. Iori told him not to read the conversations on the SNS, saying that thinking too much would affect the filming of their new music video, and Riku really did not look at any of the conversations. He got up in time every morning and worked and trained, and Tsumugi was with him when he was going to and leaving places. To him, the only influence was that the atmosphere in the dormitory became heavy, and more reporters went up to him. It wasn’t too different as before. 

Riku did think about whether there would be some big incidents, but every time he went to ask Iori, he would tell him peacefully that everything was fine. 

Iori’s back was still as tall and straight as usual. Although his body still looked somewhat like a teen, he was already a very reliable adult. Riku watched Iori’s shirt, tucking into his high waist jeans, a soft arc swelled up as the wind blew. He asked Iori if he was skinnier than before, and Iori answered that he was too busy going to different events. 

Later on, when Riku thought back, he felt ridiculous believing this kind of answer. Nanase Riku always believed everything Izumi Iori said. 

A few days before the press conference, Riku finished his video shooting early, and went back to the lounge to wait for the manager to pick him up. He already changed into his own clothes when he unexpectedly heard the female guests talking in the hallways. The female star’s and her manager’s voice flew from far to near, then from near to far. She said: “... people’s reactions are too serious, how much harm will this do to Izumi Iori and Nanase Riku? I can't even bear to look at it…”

Riku stood there with his performing clothes, then as if he was awakened suddenly, he took out his phone from his bag with trembled fingers, and opened the SNS apps that he didn’t look at for a long time. Then, those dark, poisoned talks that can make people shiver, gushed into his eyes.  
There were still a few fans on their side, but in comparison with those overwhelming malice, these supporting voices were too negligible. Not to mention the power of words, bruises from mean talks have always hurt more. 

The news of active idols falling in love always leads to big reactions of people, fans or not. Not only that, but they were also members of the same group, and they were both… boys.

The temperature in the lounge was not low, but Riku felt like he was freezing. Coldness went from his fingertips all the way into his bones, so cold that he almost can’t hold on to his phone. This was what Iori and other people were facing all this time? They were fighting against these gossips and negativities, while him, Nanase Riku, was protected well behind them, like a weak, simple child. 

In this dead silence, the air was filled with short and chaotic breathing sound, from light to heavy. Riku clutched tight to his phone and drew his hand to his mouth, sounds of panting, like an old bellow, squeezed out from the rapidly contracting trachea. Hot water drops hit the screen of the phone and his white knuckles, “tick, tock”. He bent over suddenly, as if he was in extreme pain, irregular panting was interrupted by sobbing sounds. The outline of his arched back falling and rising, like a bowstring that will break the next second. The young adult, struggling, pulled off his backpack from the table. His bag was open, his water bottle, notebook, and glasses case fell out and struck the floor. Panicking, he reached into his bag, fumbled around, and finally, in the pain from his contracting trachea, he snatched onto the tiny respirator. 

Cold medicine sprayed into his throat, Riku leaned against the table clutching his shirt. He was probably crying, he thought, but all he felt was dazed. What should he do? It seemed that there was nothing he could do. Everyone chose to hide it from him, wasn’t this because of his health conditions for sure, was fragile? 

He thought about the unstopping phone calls manager received over the past month; he thought about the amount of his managing company’s work; he thought about other members‘ expressions; he thought about… about Iori’s skinnier waist. That wasn’t an illusion, Iori did actually become skinnier. Despite him being already skinny enough, the fierce and violent negativity still scrapped off a layer of flesh off his body. The bone on Iori’s wrist sharpened, but he still firmly stood before him, blocking all of the negative opinions away for him. And their parents, they were just ordinary parents, how will they be treated by the reporters, or be discussed by their neighbours? 

Once the number of the things a person wants to protect increases, everything will become his weaknesses, everywhere he goes is filled with difficulties, and once he gets hurt, everywhere will hurt so, so badly. 

Similarly, humans always think that if they are old enough, they are grown-ups. They think that they have a solid hard body, and that they can face every wave and every wind coming at them. But only when the Tsunami is near will they realize, they are only an ant riding a boat made of leaves that is going to sink at any moment, and they can’t even save the people that fell into the water owing to themselves. 

Nanase Riku thought that he already experienced the most despairing moments of his life: being separated from his brother during his early childhood, not being able to achieve his dreams because of his illness… But compared to the pain he was suffering now, it seemed that those problems still contain a bit of hope. His health can get better by exercising and recuperating; he stood on stage and achieved his dream long ago and he met his long time no see brother too. These were all problems that can be solved by fighting hard. 

However, what can he do now? How can he, protect the person he wanted to protect?

Before the cruel reality, why are humans always so weak and powerless?

*

Riku went to see the movie Iori starred in.

The first official release was at midnight. The audiences left in twos or threes after it was finished. If you look down from high above, you would see a countless number of umbrellas, blooming in the night sky like colourful flowers, spinning into streets leading here and there.

Riku wasn’t in a hurry to leave. Already wearing a mask and glasses for disguise, he put on a scarf and hat, and he managed to escape from right under the fans’ eyes. Now he sat alone before a bed of flowers outside of the mall, not using an umbrella, nor finding somewhere to hide from the snow, his hat was the only thing that kept his head from the snow. 

If the manager and other members see him, they would get angry for sure. Riku wasn’t the clumsy and careless boy since long ago, even without other people to remind him, he knew the importance of keeping warm. But there’s a moment for everyone, a moment that… being a grown-up already, still wanting to be careless and unreasonable once more. 

He stared at the ball of warm orange light under a streetlight not far away, the shadow of sprinkling snow fluttered in the ball of light. 

The director was the famous director that received the Japan Academy Prize never filmed commercial films, nor filmed frequently, every time he does film, he aims at sharp and bitter topics about human nature or social phenomena, and the picking of the filming crew was especially strict as well. It had only been one year since Izumi Iori stepped into the door of films from dramas. The director picked him at first sight, it is said that his qualities match the settings of the main character.

It was also proved that his acting skills were not disappointing.

On the movie premiere, the director complemented Iori for his skills as someone who just started filming. Riku watched the interview video too, and seeing Iori being complemented and approved by people, he felt happy. 

After watching the movie, he had a further understanding of what the director meant. 

Iori acted as a brilliant top student at a top university. He should have had a great future, but he had a scum father who was sitting on the high spot of an official. His father bribers, manipulates public funds, is involved in gangsters, and even threatens his son with his son’s girlfriend so he would work for him when he graduates and does things that cannot be seen by other people. After his girlfriend leaves because of his father, the son chooses to do what his father wanted him to do, and becomes a member of the system to work for his father. He hates his scum father who used other people’s pain as the tool of receiving wealth and building his life, but he also hates himself, who, when facing the reality, is tiny, powerless and cannot do anything. All he could do was to record all the number of the public funds and trades with gangsters that passed through his hands. Just before his collapse, he mailed the USB containing all the evidence to an officer he knows, and walked into the snow mountains by himself. At the end of the movie, he fell into the snow exhaustively, a clear trickle of tears hanging from his eye corner, and smiled.

This was what Riku saw that night on the poster when waiting for the traffic light to turn green.

The proudness at first, the pain from being separated from his love, the powerless when surrendering to reality, and the relief at last… blissfulness and pain, bursting out in the depressing atmosphere, every bit of emotions and progress was handled nicely, and it was even surprising that this was someone who only started filming one year ago. 

Riku revealed his acting talent early on, so he started filming earlier than Iori. That is why he knew how stunning Iori’s performance was in this movie better than anyone else.

...But right, Iori was always like that. Anything that is given to him, he will try his hardest to make it perfect. He was always like that. 

Riku tucked his hands into his pockets, straightened his legs, he looked up and lightly, breathed out a ball of misty white cloud, and soon, a few pieces of snowflakes landed on his eyelashes. 

He thought, maybe this is what it should have been like. 

The decisions he made, the words he said, he didn't completely have no regret for. Might as well say, he always felt regret for the three years. When he dreamed about it and woke up in the middle of the night, when he closed his eyes exhaustively in the car after he finished working, when he looked into Iori’s eyes through the mist of water vapour in the Sukiyaki restaurant… he was regretting. 

However this night, looking at the person on the screen, who was always the strongest and toughest pillar supporting IDOLiSH7 silently, shining again like a newly polished diamond, Riku thought, maybe this should be it.

The decision he made that year was right. Although he didn’t manage to leave it behind him, it was not a wrong decision. 

Someone outstanding like Iori, shouldn’t be drowned in the swamp of gossip and opinion. In fact, he should shine like a star. 

There is no one to be blamed, nothing to be regretful for, humans should learn to be responsible for their own decisions. And, regarding the result, it is a happy ending.

He understands, and had passed the age of being capricious long ago, he knew he should surrender to the fact. 

Riku remained in the position of looking up at the night sky, even when ice-cold snowflakes fell into his eyes. He was afraid that if he lowered his head, tears would drop out.

He was just...missing him very, very much.

*

“Well...”

The moment Tsumugi started talking, she was dazzled by the flashes that flashed one after one in the room. Her fingers clutching the side of the table tightened a bit, she then sighed and spoke into the microphone in a deep tone.

“Well then, the conference starts now. Please leave your questions to the end.”

There usually is a typical flow for a conference: The chairman clarifies the truth, the main person involved in the situation recites a manuscript written before the conference, then the manager chooses several gentle media to answer their questions. This way there wouldn’t be too much material for the media that likes to make up negative gossip, and the attitude of the company and main people involved can be revealed as well. 

It should have been so, but perhaps because of the huge impact this event caused, balls of fire seemed to be burning in reporters’ hungry gaze, and although it was not the time for questions yet, microphones were raised into the air already. 

Takanashi Otoharu firmly denied the content of the entertainment magazine, saying that this was how the members show member love among the group, and to prove this, he presented a few pictures of their daily life. 

Maybe it was due to the fact that he wasn’t able to rest well these days, Iori wasn’t looking very good. His eyelashes reflected light gray shadows on his pale eyelids, but his back was still straight. Using a cool and steady tone, he recited the manuscript written beforehand slowly. Like Takanashi Otoharu, his speech was firm and clear, logically organized, just like his style. 

When it was his turn, Riku’s head blanked out for a few seconds.

“...Like what Otoharu-san said, this is how we treat each other every day.” Riku spoke slowly, the manuscript he memorized well suddenly turned choppy in front of all the microphones and cameras. He thought hard while speaking, “I would play video games with Tamaki, sleep with Nagi, we were just treating each other as a family.”

No.

“...I, I have always treated Iori like my family, like my brother. Iori was always reliable, but sometimes we will have the feeling of wanting to protect him, so I have always regarded him as my younger brother. ”

This is not what it is.

“If people think we are couples just based on this, I don’t think it’s very respectful… I...”

No…

“I hope this misunderstanding can be solved soon, and I hope you guys would stop spreading this misinformation or anything that has something to do with it, such defamation is way too excessive.”

Something stuffed up his throat. 

When he was still a child… in the hospital, there was one time when the department of pediatrics was organizing events, and every kid there got a chance to perform. His body was in good condition at the time, so his doctor agreed to his request to perform. He looked forward to it for a long time, and practiced a lot, but because he was still young, and it was his first time standing on a stage, when young Riku looked down at the nurses and children sitting, his voice disappeared from his throat. As if a ball of cotton was stuffing his throat, his voice was stuck behind the cotton ball, and his song stopped abruptly. 

Right now after all those years, he felt what he felt back then again.

Nervous, afraid and helpless, such that he felt cold all over, a chill slowly slid down his spine. 

The crowd sitting under started to stir due to the long silence, and Riku can feel the manager and Iori glancing at him worriedly, but he didn’t dare to turn his head. 

All this time, Riku thought that it was people’s support and love that pushed him this far. That was the most precious gift God gave him. Although he did doubt it and was confused, he never thought it was a burden. Every time he thinks about it, he is grateful for it. 

However, in this short moment, he felt pain. The pain from always being the focus of the crowd, from bearing people’s heavy love, from being an idol.

…That was what he treasured and valued, pure and wonderful like a glass ball made of snow, his sweetheart. How can he...how can he, deny the person himself? That was his love, how could he talk about it with a casual “family”?

How long would it be until he can ignore other people’s gaze and walk under the sun, back straight, holding his love’s hand?

Is that day really going to come? 

Riku breathed in slowly, then breathed out, “...thank you very much, I’m done speaking.”

It was extra freezing that winter. The heater was on all the time in their dorm, and their blankets became 2 or even 3 layers. But even when wrapped in blankets tightly, coldness still seemed to spread from deep inside their bones. 

Iori was awakened in the middle of the night by the knocks on his door. 

He spent a few seconds to wake himself up, then threw on a jacket and got off his bed. Outside was a Riku in a thin layer of fur pyjamas. The heater was on in their rooms, but the hallways were cold, wind even seemed to be blowing through. However, Nanase Riku, his sweetheart, their center who has respiratory disease, was standing out there in a layer of pyjamas. 

“...What are you doing?!” After being stunned for a short moment, his first instinct was to take off his jacket and wrap it around Nanase Riku’s shoulders, then he pulled the person before him into his warm room. 

Riku’s expression was strange. He stumbled a bit when Iori pulled him hard, but when he steadied himself, he stood there unspoken, just staring straight at him.

“...Nanase-san?” Iori frowned. He had heard that when some people just wake up from a nightmare, they would still be immersed in their dream, and fall into a dazed situation… and the person before him right now seemed to be in this situation. He then spoke more lightly, “Nanase-san.”

Riku still stared at him without answering.

Iori reached out slowly, warm fingertips slid past Riku’s cheek, and placed a strip of hair behind his ears. Iori pulled Riku’s waist towards him, hugging him into his arms.

Thanks to either the warmth of the room or the hug, Iori felt the body in his arms relaxing bit by bit. Riku buried his face in Iori’s shoulders, slowly took hold of his sleeve.

“Did you have a nightmare?” Iori asked softly.

Riku nodded very lightly: “...Yeah. Can I sleep with you?”

Ending with a wet nasal voice, it seemed like it was a pretty bad dream.

As if petting along the fur on the back to calm a small animal, Iori ran his palm along the lines of his back, petting lightly. His eyes, now getting prettier as he gets older, curved into a pretty curve. He laughed softly: “Yes, get into the blanket then.”

Some of Iori’s temperature was still left in the blanket, along with the scent that only Riku seemed to be able to smell, the smell of cool snow on Iori. The bed was not made for two people, and it was a little crowded with two grown men lying on it. But Riku seemed to enjoy sticking to the person he likes like this, then a flash of wet crystal-like light flashed across his agate-coloured eyes. 

Iori reached over Riku's waist to make sure every corner of the blanket was tucked in well, and remaining in this position, he circled Riku. 

“I dreamed that Iori turned into snow,” Riku whispered. He was a grown man already, but like a child hiding under the blanket trying to talk without being noticed by the adults, he whispered, “ White and soft snow.”

Iori: “...Snow?”

Riku’s big and round eyes curved a bit: “Yes. Iori became snow that melts in a second, I can’t grab on to you.”   
He was chuckling, but his voice sounded like he was going to cry soon.

“I can’t grab on to you.” Riku repeated, “You disappeared as soon as I reached out.”

Iori didn’t manage to make any sounds for a moment. 

He thought, maybe it was when at the end of the conference, the reporters’ sharp questions scared his love. It was already quite a sensitive period, probably because of it, this person lacked some feeling of security. 

At the thought of this, he moved closer and touched his forehead lightly to Riku’s, strips of hair slid off from their forehead, curling in each other’s. 

“I will not leave you.” Iori said, “that was just a bad dream, Nanase-san. I am right here, and will not leave you.”

Riku smiled, as if quickly feeling better after hearing his sweetheart’s promise, his voice became quieter and sank deeply: “Yes.”

*

It was probably back then.

The chilly and thin sunlight shone into the car from the corner of the window, where no window film was covering, and landed onto a pair of long eyelashes. Leaning against the back of the rear seat, the dark-haired young adult frowned slightly, as if being disrupted by the sunlight.   
Featherlike eyelashes shivered a few times, then slowly lifted, showing the pair of dark blue eyes hidden under. 

The scene in his dream seemed to be right before his eyes. 

Iori usually doesn’t dream much. But on that winter night three years ago, that short conversation between them, appeared frequently after he fell asleep these days. Every detail of the conversation was clear; even the ones he did not notice at the time, came back to him as the dream occurred again and again. From the pain at the start, to right now, he had gotten used to reviewing the past over and over again in his dreams, trying to find even the tiniest piece of hint...the hint about why Nanase Riku left him. 

His schedule was tight these days, and he could only steal a bit of rest in the car when moving to another place. The heater was working in the car, and his brain lacked a bit of oxygen. Plus the fact that he didn’t get enough sleep, he didn’t really want to move even though he was already awake. He remained in the leaning position against the window, watched as trees passed by. 

It was probably then, Iori thought quietly.

When Nanase Riku decided to leave him, it was probably back then.

Perhaps it was because the other person had already made up his mind a long time ago, that he had a dream like that. That short response, it wasn’t because of feeling afraid or uneasy, in fact, it was likely because he confirmed his decision in his heart again. Always so pure and child-like, impulsive and naive, and making other people want to help him. But really, that person was more mindful than any other person, and when making a decision, he can be neat and exact too. 

Iori remembers that day clearly even now. 

When Riku told him “let’s stay away from each other”, three months had passed since the conference. The warm current of early spring hit the land from the south of Kyushu, and Okinawa’s cherry blossoms bloomed already. Although they clearly stated the official attitude on the conference, IDOLiSH7’s group events and their personal events were still somehow influenced, and multiple times they were either blocked by the fans trying to ask questions, or being secretly taken photos of by news reporters. Basically, they were in a situation where there weren’t any big issues but a ton of small issues. The number of these issues wasn’t too big, but Iori’s and Riku’s events and filming jobs decreased, however, this was unavoidable. 

It was under these circumstances when Riku unexpectedly and solemnly decided to break up. 

“I caused a lot of trouble for the manager and everyone,” he explained, “It can’t go on like this anymore. Iori was troubled as well, and weren’t there a lot of reporters waiting to harass you outside of your working place?”

Iori’s life was hard at the moment, but he never considered breaking up. He never thought that, the person who usually won’t change his mind, would suggest breaking up--especially when the person was the one to confess first. At first, he thought he didn’t catch Riku’s words clearly, and asked again: “...Sorry?”

Riku watched him patiently like Iori was an unreasonable child.

“You…Situations like this, as long as we are idols, are usually hard to avoid, isn’t it?” Unusually, Iori seemed a bit bewildered, he didn’t understand why things turned out like this, “Didn’t other people say that they were ready to face all of this, and that there is no need for you to feel bad? …You, did you come across with something? You promised that you would tell me everything, if you...”

“No, it’s not that.” The corner of Riku’s mouth lifted for a second, but his eyes were blocked by his eyelashes, the tail of his eyes sagging, along with his tone, all showing a subtle feeling of tiredness. “...I’m sorry, Iori, but I’m a little tired. It’s too tiring to live like this, this surreptitious lifestyle. And our personal lives and jobs were also affected.”

Something sharp jabbed Iori on the heart. He didn’t know whether he was sad or angry. He pinched the spot between his eyebrows, slowly, forcefully, breathed in and out, and tried his best to speak as softly as possible: “...Nanase-san, didn’t we talk about this from the start? This period is unavoidable, and we only need to wait until...”

Riku interrupted him: “Wait for how long?”

Iori stared at him as if he had never met him before. 

“You see? Iori doesn’t even know how long we have to wait.” Riku chuckled lightly. His expression fell into Iori’s eyes, and for a moment Iori couldn’t tell whether it was a wry laugh or a sneer. Riku spoke as if he was talking to himself: “Sorry Iori…but I think maybe…it had become a burden for me now.”

The word was a bomb blowing up a thousand miles under the surface, throwing huge waves into the air.   
Iori stared at the person standing before him, round-eyed. He wasn’t a person that showed his emotions often, but this time, uncontrollably, the corner of his eyes visibly turned red. He was still struggling to fight back a response, but after hearing this, no words can come out anymore.

At that time when both his mind and body were exhausted from his job and life, nothing was more hurtful than this word. 

“All right then,” Iori said, “I’ll go with what you said.”

Then he turned and left, slamming Riku’s door loudly, failing to control his force. 

What he didn’t know was that after he was gone, Nanase Riku covered his mouth and cried silently for a long, long time, to the stage where he was short of breath. 

The number of times of contact between the two grew fewer and fewer, no matter if they were at work or living their private life. Entertainment reporters discovered that there was no more information for them to dig up, and they slowly went away too. Later on, a program did a few more reports, confirmed that it was a rumour, and everything went back to normal. Their career got better, and they walked slowly towards the throne of idols, and became idols that almost everyone knew in Japan. 

It went on like this for three years. 

But Izumi Iori wasn’t stupid. He was so smart that if he didn’t choose to be an idol, he probably would have become an outstanding graduate of the University of Tokyo. 

Three years was enough, more than enough. He had some idea long ago about the reason Riku decided to break up, and this time when he woke up from this dream, he finally confirmed it. There was no need to ask that person. He knew him better than anyone else, so how does he not know what the other person was thinking? Reality forced the person who was pure like a child into making the tough decision ruthlessly. He was trying to protect the people around him, protect HIM, and that was probably why he chose this path. Back then, with the excellent acting skills which he was born with, he reluctantly said those hurtful words, but how painful it would be for the other person, he didn’t know. 

But because he guessed it, just because he guessed it, Iori can’t ask him. Can he blame him? Even right now, when they are already a huge part of the Japanese entertainment system, if they fall into an awkward situation like that year, does he have a better solution, or have the ability to protect the person he wants to protect? Not to mention the fact that their decision had been made already. Three years have passed, what is the use of making any opinion about things from three years ago? 

Two years, was the time they had actually been together. Compared to ten years, or a lifetime, two years was way too short, and when you think about it, it felt like a second, or, nothing.   
Even so, although they have already separated, those memories were still shining and glittering diamonds and stardust that cloud the whole sky--you can’t touch them, but they were still hanging glamorously on the highest point in the world of memories. 

Exhaustedly, Iori closed his eyes again, feeling the ray of sunshine shining on his eyelids, the faint warmth burning his eyeballs slightly, bitter liquid filled his eyes bit by bit. 

“Izumi-san.” The assistant sitting in the front turned to call him, “did you see the things on Twitter yet?”

Iori frowned: “...No. Is anything wrong?”

“Nanase-san...” The assistant said quietly. 

Hearing this name, Iori grabbed his phone immediately and opened Twitter. There was no need for him to search anything up, the name of Nanase Riku was the number one trend, and his homepage was filled with pictures of that person, taken from all different perspectives too. 

It seemed that at first, it was two fans who noticed Nanase Riku, wearing his personal clothes, in a bunny viewing shop in the shopping centre street of Shibuya. The fans asked for a handshake politely, then posted posts on Twitter, then the street was filled with fans that heard the news. 

“Ha...” Iori sighed hopelessly. Does this person have any idea that he is right now one of the top idols in Japan? How does he dare to go shopping on a weekend on the centre street of Shibuya, especially when no assistant is with him? 

He quickly glanced at his homepage, and stopped for a few seconds on one of the posts--it was the name of the bunny viewing shop, he remembered. Nanase Riku said before that he wanted to go there with him. 

The assistant followed more people than him, and there were more posts on his homepage too. He clicked on a video and handed his phone over. 

Iori took the phone. The video was likely shot by fans since the camera was shaking badly. It was almost impossible for people to get through the centre street. The red-haired young adult with a baseball cap was surrounded by people from all directions. Looking helpless, he was trying to find a way out, but was always interrupted by fans asking for a handshake. 

“How long do we have until the next job?” Iori asked suddenly. 

The assistant answered without thinking much: “Two hours...huh? Wait, are you…?”

“It’s a drive less than 40 minutes from here to the centre street,” Iori said to the driver, “please turn around.”

“Wait, Izumi-san, the job...” The assistant’s protest was ignored, and he watched as the dark-haired teen phoned the manager, asking for support. 

Tsumugi got the message too, and was on her way. 

“I heard that it is very chaotic at the place, and it’s impossible for cars to get in. It’s hard to even squeeze into the centre of the crowd.” Tsumugi said on the phone, “I’m already on the way, but there’s probably still about an hour until I get there, Iori-san… I’m so sorry, but if you arrive earlier than me, please, please do protect Riku-san well.”

There was a bit of pleading and sadness in her tone. She knew she shouldn’t let Iori, whose identity was not very appropriate when dealing with this situation, go--three years was not enough for the crowd to totally forget the huge rumour that once ruled above their heads. But the longer it takes, the more danger the situation Riku is in, so she couldn’t help it. 

...After all, even if she said no, Iori would definitely go. She knew it. 

“Don’t worry,” Iori said. 

When arriving at Shibuya centre street, Iori realized that the situation was worse than he expected. 

Ever since he discovered Riku’s power of appealing, he had been secretly and strictly controlling the situation. Even until today, any work Tsumugi accepted for Riku were all viewed by Iori first to make sure there was no harm. No matter whether it was video shooting or variety shows, they have always kept away from the audience. However, this time it was Riku who took the initiative to expose himself before the eyes of fans, basically, zero-distance. It is hard to imagine how much people would be affected by this. 

He got out of the car in full disguise, mask and glasses and baseball cap, the driver and assistant by his side to make a way for him.   
The first 500 metres was alright, then as it got crowdier, the driver and assistant had to remind the people around them, and people started to notice the three people trying to squeeze into the crowd, the dark-haired person in full disguise in the middle. 

“...Is that Izumi Iori?”

Finally someone asked carefully out loud. 

The crowd went crazy. 

The assistant almost fell as the fans turned and rushed toward them. He steadied himself, and spoke loudly to the crowd: “Please do not push! Please do not push--”

Iori ignored the fans asking for handshakes. In some distance, he saw Nanase Riku, whose cap was missing. Flame-coloured hair reflected on Iori’s retina, he saw it instantly. 

Riku stumbled a few steps as the fans pushed against him, then heard a new wave of screaming behind him. He turned without thinking, and across from the crowd, his eyes fell into the depth of a pair of sapphire-coloured eyes behind glasses, like a pool of cool, wet glass marbles. 

There were so many people in between them, and they were so far away from each other. But why, can they find each other so quickly?

“...Iori?” He said quietly, as if he was scared to disturb a dream that might shatter at any moment. 

The assistant and driver used all their force to part the crowd. Iori squeezed through it and came to his side. The fans on this side screamed even louder seeing this. A million hands reached toward them as screaming and yelling grew louder and buzzed in their ears. 

Iori snatched Riku’s wrist, and, as if it was his instinct, pulled him behind him. 

His body temperature was always lower than other people, and his fingertips and palm were colder than Riku. But watching Iori’s long fingers curling around his wrist tightly, it felt like a piece of scalding iron, burning Riku so much that he was about to have goosebumps.

“I and Nanase-san still need to go to work next,” His voice wasn’t loud but clean and cold like snow, and it somehow penetrated through the screaming and yelling, and the fans around them began to quiet down. 

“Please do understand, we need to leave now.” Iori kept saying, “We are sorry that we cause troubles for our fans and the owners on centre street. We will apologize to you later in public.”

Riku with an apologizing smile behind him: “I’m really sorry to add troubles for you guys...”  
Who knew if it was Iori’s coldness that cooled the overheated minds of the fans, or Riku’s power of appealingness, a small circle of fans grew quiet and helped them move towards the outside, trying to make a way for them. 

Iori and Riku apologized and thanked the crowd all the way, and they managed to make their way out with the help of their fans. It turned out that it was the driver and assistant that were still stuck in the crowd. 

They can’t go back to search for them, so they got into the car first. As soon as the door closed, the noisy yelling and crying outside were blurred. 

Riku’s clothes and hair were a mess, he fell to the seat as if all the energy had been drained from him. Iori took off his mask and glasses, then took out a bottle of water from the back and handed it to Riku. Riku opened the bottle and took a small sip, and after he gained some energy again, he sat straight and lowered his head to Iori: “...Sorry, Iori! I made you come here without any other purposes...”

Not hearing anything from Iori, Riku carefully opened one eye and looked at Iori quickly, and after he bumped into Iori’s cold gaze, he lowered his head again, playing dead sincerely.

Seeing the other person’s movements, Iori held back a sigh. This person was turning thirty, but always acting like a child, and so many years passed, he was still so childish and naive. 

“...Are you mad? ” Riku looked up at him, “I’m sorry, it’s all my fault. ”

Iori didn’t answer immediately. He sat beside Riku and thought for a while, then answered slowly: “Because of what you said back then, I chose to leave. ”

Riku froze. He didn’t expect that the other person would recall the old things under this ridiculous circumstance, and he didn’t give himself any time to prepare for this. 

“Although it was extremely hurtful at the time, I have to say, you were as clumsy as always. ” Iori’s long eyelashes lowered for a second, “Your thoughts were too easy to guess that even though I was bewildered by love back then, after all this time, I would have guessed it. ”

Riku tried hard to pretend that it was nothing, and his mouth curled into an unpretty smile: “Wh, why suddenly... Now I don’t want to talk about...”

This was ridiculous. They were sitting in the car with crazy fans screaming outside, and they were talking about things from 3 years ago under this situation? 

Iori ignored his protest. 

“I know what you were thinking about, and can understand it too, so even when I understood everything, I decided to let go. ” Iori said lightly, “Your words were hurtful, but they were reasonable. Maybe without me, you would live a better life, I thought so too.”

Riku closed his mouth. He can’t talk anymore, or the shiver in his voice would expose completely. 

Iori looked at him sideways, those glazed marbles were like a snow lake, peacefully, they fell upon Riku’s face, examined his expressions carefully, as if trying to dig up any subtle emotions and throw them in the light to read clearly. Riku turned to escape from his gaze, staring at the crowd, which had been blurred by the dark window film. 

“...If you decided to leave me, then why won’t you do better? At least to show that you are living better than before, so you can convince me and yourself. But look at you, what did you do to yourself? ”

Riku said in a small voice: “Stop it. ”

“Without an assistant, going to that bunny shop alone. What were you trying to do, being nostalgic about the past? ” The series of interrogative sentences did not stop, “Why are you being so bold NOW? Do you think you have grown and had the ability to face stress from all around now? ”

“Stop it! ” Riku raised his volume suddenly, the tail of the phrase trembling.

This time, Iori did stop. He gazed at his ex-boyfriend, a flash of moist light passed through his sapphire-blue eyes. 

Riku hid his face in his arm, and remained silent for a long time, his shoulders sank. 

“I know it’s not OK. ” His voice was muffled between his arms, and it sounded like he was crying, “Even now, if something like that happens again, I still don’t know what to do. ”  
Iori watched him. 

“...But I just can’t help it. ” Riku breathed deeply, “I tried hard for 3 whole years, but I can’t help it.”

Can’t help what? Can’t help but think about me? Iori thought to himself, you are almost thirty years old, why are you still so clumsy…

Riku fought back his tears. The reality was a tall mountain that cannot be surpassed, but he still surrendered to his feelings. This was way too painful. God gave humans rich and delicate emotions, gave humans the ability to love and be loved, wasn’t it because he wanted humans to be happy?

But why did the happy times only lasted for 2 years, following that was the long and difficult pain? 

Suddenly he heard quiet laughter. Iori was laughing, self-deprecating a little. Riku stared at him, stunned. 

“...Things being said, I’m not qualified to blame you either.” Iori didn’t look at him. Instead, he turned towards the blurry outlines of people outside, “Even when I placed myself on the spot of the person to tell others what to do, I cannot control my feet from running towards you neither.”

That, had probably became an instinct. 

The topic from three years ago was taken out by people again, and was spread on SNS apps. 

Except that this time, maybe it was because people’s minds were more open nowadays, how people regard it seemed to be a little different. 

“If that is real, being forced to separate for three years, compared to those who claimed that their dreams are broken, aren’t they the people in most pain? ”

This post was forwarded for a few hundreds of thousands of times, and became one of the tops in the trends section.

“When Iori found Riku in Shibuya and took hold of his hand, Riku’s expressions...I don’t know how to describe it, but I felt like crying after seeing it.”

“I was right beside Iori at the time, he was snatching on really tightly, his fingers were shaking a little.”

“I have always been supporting them, even three years ago.”

“...When I saw the pictures of them in Shibuya, I began to think, maybe this wasn’t bad either.”

Although there were still a lot of voices that were against them, the voices of the supporters, compared to three years ago, were much clearer than before. 

“Nanase-san, congratulations to the completion of filming the movie--”

The director and staff handed him flowers and presents, Riku, hugging the flowers, bowed to all the members: “Thank you so much for taking care of me for all this time…!”

Three months, the time he completed the filming of all his parts in the movies he participated in. After that, it’s going to be a short period of resting time, and he can finally sleep well. 

It was already afternoon when he finished removing his makeup and tidying up. Riku fell asleep the moment he got into the car. When he woke up again, the sun was setting outside, warm yellow-orange and fuchsia red dyed the horizon up, and they extended all the way to somewhere far, far away. 

He stared at the sunset for a bit, dazed. Then he took out his phone to check on any messages he received.

The Rabbitchat he placed at the top of the page was a dark blue bellflower icon: “Congratulations to your completion of filming the movie.”

Riku was awake immediately. He typed quickly: “How did the news get out there so quickly? I only finished it this noon.”

The other person didn’t answer this question: “How were the three months in Kyushu?”

“The seafood was so good, but I still wanted to go home.” Riku replied, “I already asked the assistant to order the airplane ticket for returning to Tokyo tomorrow. When I get back, let’s invite everyone out for a meal.”

The person didn’t talk anymore. After five minutes, a photo was sent.

Riku clicked on it curiously, then, a smile like small pieces of stars, glowing warmly, climbed up his eyes and eyebrows from the corner of his mouth. 

It was a bay window in the photo. A thick and soft latex mattress covered the bottom of the bay window, pillows stuffed fully piled up against the corner of the window, the background was the spectacular setting sun. It looked extremely cozy. 

“Didn’t I say that I want it to be winter?” Riku typed, grinning, “Sitting on the window covered in blankets and drinking iced beer! Now that the temperature has risen, it’s not as good as in winter.”

“Stop complaining. It was you who filmed for three months, filming the winter away.” The other person talked back coldly, “You will have to wait until next year.”

Next year. 

It had been 10 years since IDOLiSH7’s debut. They fell in love for five years, and were separated for three. 

The snow in the north started to melt, the early cherry blossoms bloomed in Kyushu. Winter passed without a sound, and it’s impossible now to lie on the bay window, wrapped in blankets, and drink iced beer. 

But they can finally say “next year” to each other out loud. 

The next winter, would probably be a season of warmth and coziness.


End file.
